There are days that hope cannot come from within. The spirit of the wounded gives up sometimes, whether it is desired or no. I’m trying to find a way to inspire that spirit and enter the fray once more. But I haven’t found it today. I think it might need to come from elsewhere. I think I have given up. I am too broken—too overwhelmed, too tired, too pained, and too frustrated. So, put up whatever prayers or vibes or other juju required to get the universe in gear. Send all the things that might spark the survivor’s drive in me, and keep me moving forward. I don’t want to slip into hopelessness. But I’m not sure that I am offered a choice today. I’m not certain that I can overcome alone. I need some intervention—some intercession. I need the matchstick of divine inspiration to light the flame once more, and to ignite hope.
And now I go to do all the things: the meditation, the Buddha board, the mandalas, the gardening, the art, and the yoga. I go to seek out some solace and to find some end to the feeling that weighs my heart down today, and silences the good things and amplifies the bad.
Pray they are the flint that sparks joy and hope and strength.
Ask and it shall be given. Seek and you will find.