trust
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The journey to this moment has been long and hard and chaotic and sometimes frightening. So, now that I am here, I am paralyzed. This is certainly not the first time that I have fought my way through all sorts of trauma to find myself safe on the other side and stuck. Just stuck. It
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Yesterday was too much. In fact, the too much started the day before, and I didn’t do a good job of mitigating it at the outset. But who is great at mitigating, really? On Thursday, when I took the bus to the doctor, there was so much chaos. There was a woman who insisted her
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When you have been hurt by people in the past, it can be really hard to trust people in the now. And it isn’t the fault of whomever you are with now if someone before hurt you, but it is also not easy to keep the two experiences separate in your mind and heart. As
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Over the last several weeks I have been embarking on a project to increase my wall art. I’ve lived in this apartment for five years now, and it is about time that I make the walls my own, instead of just putting a few things on existing nails leftover from someone else’s decorating. It is
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You don’t know how lovely you are… A lyric from a song I love, and a reminder for every day. I don’t know how lovely I am. I’ve not been shown that often. I’ve been shown all of the dark and terrible things over and over. And the loveliness that did exist got shoved deep
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I am scheduled for a mammogram later today. I’ve spent about the last 2 hours debating with myself about whether I do or do not wish to reschedule that appointment. I can make it. But I don’t want to worry about it. But I feel well enough. No, I don’t feel well. But I could
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I was doing a bit of reading last night, in an attempt to fill insomnia time with something that makes it seem less like insomnia and more like productivity or entertainment. The book is one I am almost ashamed to be reading, because its pages are covered with philosophies of giving = getting, and those
Learning To Be Whole 