poverty

  • It isn’t easy for me to be vulnerable. I remember a friend from cohort saying to me once that I was very open by not very vulnerable, and I was upset by that statement, because I didn’t think it fair to separate the two out in that manner.  Being honest was, in my mind at

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  • Avoidance

    I’m supposed to be paying bills. But there isn’t enough money. So, I am doing this thing that I do.  Some like to call it procrastination, but I’ve started to use terms that are more honest wherever possible, so this thing is called “avoidance”. When the thing cannot be done comfortably, efficiently, without stress, or

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  • The journey to this moment has been long and hard and chaotic and sometimes frightening.  So, now that I am here, I am paralyzed. This is certainly not the first time that I have fought my way through all sorts of trauma to find myself safe on the other side and stuck.  Just stuck.  It

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  • When Comes the Night

    “There are low points. There are going to be low points. And if you can take me at the high points, then you also need to take me at the low points. That’s what I have to say.” My daughter uttered these words with passion and much arm movement a few moments ago. She was

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  • The Song that Never Ends

    I feel like shit. I could probably end there, and just let that be my post for the day. But I keep putting “write” on the schedule that I don’t follow.  I’d kind of like to cross that off my list. So, I feel like shit. And that isn’t a new thing at all.  Which

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  • I Have No Gift to Bring

    As I was printing out boarding passes this morning (the beautiful gift from my sister that means I can spend the holiday with family), I was listening to some holiday music.  The Little Drummer Boy carol caught my attention, and I wondered how many times over the years that same carol has caught my attention.

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  • More Than I Can Handle

      There is this common statement among those who choose a Christian religious base for their belief system.  I hear it often.  I hate it more every time it is said. “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” I call bullshit. I am dealing with more than I can handle.  I’ve been dealing

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  • Food Chain

    I’ve watched this progression happening inside my home over the past month or so.  The container garden in my sun porch at some point brought little flying bugs into the environment.  Whether they came from the soil or from the great outdoors is unclear, but they arrived, nonetheless.  And I have tried several remedies that

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  • Earth

    My house smells like dirt.  It is fabulous. Last night a dear friend came over and we planted veggies and herbs in pots that will live in my front room/office/art studio.  (Yes, it is getting crowded up in here.)  At least I hope they will live!  I’ve already got a great rosemary plant, a struggling

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  • Wealth

    I won $25 in the form of an Amazon gift code.  I feel rich. Just kidding.  I am still super poor, but I wanted to make the point here that most people could lose $25 and not be terribly upset by the loss, while for me it feels like frigging Christmas wrapped in the lottery

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