hope
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In therapy on Monday, I said to my therapist, “I’m done! I’m done.” And that was immediately followed by the expression, “I don’t even know what that means, because I am not going to kill myself, so I don’t know what I am done with, per se, or what I am quitting, exactly.” I’m relatively
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It’s been difficult to write. That’s not entirely true. It’s been difficult to write something that doesn’t sound like suicidal ideation blended with complaint and condemnation and a little bit of protein powder to make an “I fucking hate everything and everyone and can’t remember why I keep trying at life smoothie”. And I am
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I’ve watched this progression happening inside my home over the past month or so. The container garden in my sun porch at some point brought little flying bugs into the environment. Whether they came from the soil or from the great outdoors is unclear, but they arrived, nonetheless. And I have tried several remedies that
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Yesterday was too much. In fact, the too much started the day before, and I didn’t do a good job of mitigating it at the outset. But who is great at mitigating, really? On Thursday, when I took the bus to the doctor, there was so much chaos. There was a woman who insisted her
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Yesterday I received a rude message. It made accusations against me, because I had posted on Facebook both an update to my fundraiser, requesting donations to pay bills in May, and a request for pictures of items my mother had painted, to utilize at my tattoo consultation. In the mind of the one offering the
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I can’t write this week. I’ve tried several times. Two or three paragraphs in, it falls apart and the message I meant to speak becomes a ball of words with no real significance. I’m too tangled up inside, I think, to be able to present something linear and coherent on the outside. I’m a mess.
Learning To Be Whole 