Learning To Be Whole

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  • As Long as the Right People Die

    Maybe a lot of you are too young or too straight to remember the AIDS crisis. I’m not. It took my cousin, whom I loved deeply. He was one of the few people in my life that I felt really understood me. It wasn’t until after he was dead from a horrible disease that I

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  • Singleness is Scary

    In the wee hours of the morning, I went up to the bar owner and bouncer at my regular watering hole and told them that I have no idea how to be single.  Now that I have officially declared my independence from Bill, I have attracted all sorts of attention that is unwanted from all

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  • Payday

    I’m busy printing out proofs to attain a payday loan.  It is a long shot, last resort sort of move on my part.  There aren’t any options left beyond a ridiculous interest rate over 50% and steep penalties should I not meet the strict requirements of repayment of that criminal amount of interest.  It should

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  • Toxic 2.0

    I don’t know how to do relationships. Don’t get me wrong.  I know how to advise about relationships.  I’d make a great family therapist or marriage counselor.  I marry people—to one another, of course—in ceremonies, as the ordained minister with credentials recognized by the state.  Ask me about your relationship and I will give you

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  • I See Stupid People

    There’s this M. Night Shyamalan movie that has an monologue that a friend and I once transformed a bit.  We took the word “dead” and inserted “stupid”. I see stupid people.  They’re all around me.  They don’t know they’re stupid. Today I have been dealing with the frustration of not being able to express my

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  • Up Again

    It’s been difficult to write. That’s not entirely true. It’s been difficult to write something that doesn’t sound like suicidal ideation blended with complaint and condemnation and a little bit of protein powder to make an “I fucking hate everything and everyone and can’t remember why I keep trying at life smoothie”. And I am

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  • Too Much

    There has been so much to say that I haven’t been able to say anything. It’s one of those things that seems inevitable for me.  The more there is, the less I do.  I have heard others speak of this phenomenon.  I’m, apparently, not the only one who suffers this problem.  And I have read

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  • I Have No Gift to Bring

    As I was printing out boarding passes this morning (the beautiful gift from my sister that means I can spend the holiday with family), I was listening to some holiday music.  The Little Drummer Boy carol caught my attention, and I wondered how many times over the years that same carol has caught my attention.

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  • Bully

    When I was a girl, I suffered from a medical condition that made it impossible for me to maintain control of my bladder.  I had a major surgery just before my tenth birthday that corrected this issue, but up until then, I was tortured by classmates and neighbors.  I was less than ten years old,

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  • More Than I Can Handle

      There is this common statement among those who choose a Christian religious base for their belief system.  I hear it often.  I hate it more every time it is said. “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” I call bullshit. I am dealing with more than I can handle.  I’ve been dealing

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